Dear Parents,
Developing and strengthening social skills is a key component of our K1 programme. Coming to school provides children with the opportunity to interact with others in group situations. Children have powerful opportunities to learn skills such as collaboration, negotiation and problem-solving, but this also can bring challenges (and a few tears!), too. Please know that social challenges are a regular part of Kindergarten and all part of the learning.
It is important to note that children have different ideas of what is “fun”. When my children were young, my son loved it if I jumped out and scared him. He would burst out laughing and wanted me to do this more. My daughter would react to the same game with tears.
On the playground, we sometimes see children approach other children and “growl” in their faces or wrestle them to the ground. The intent is positive -- this is their way of engaging in play. The response they get depends on the child they approach. Some erupt in laughter at being wrestled to the ground. Others are distressed by this and will quickly approach the teacher for help. We are working with the children to become better communicators when it comes to sharing what they like and don’t like, and also developing new and additional strategies for approaching others to join their play.
Big Body Play
Big Body Play can also be referred to as “play fighting” and it is an important part of child development. Here is a short excerpt from an article on Big Body Play that you might find helpful in understanding some of the “rough” play your child might be a part of on the playground:
“As children enter the Kindergarten and Primary Years, they want to practice emerging social skills such as fairness and reciprocity (turn taking); big body play provides rich opportunities for practicing those. Children become aware of the consequences of failing to harness or handicap their own strengths (if the opponent is smaller or weaker). So although rough-and-tumble play looks to be an activity of physical dominance, it actually prompts children to learn how to hold back physically, how to restrain themselves for the sake of the play and their relationships. Successful rough-and-tumble play depends on reciprocity.
Children who play this way with each other usually are already friends, and the rough-and-tumble play can enhance their relationship by supporting the skills needed in strong friendships. Just as no one wants a friend who takes all the time or attention, or who dominates the whole conversation, no child wants a rough-and-tumble play partner who dominates the whole activity.”
In short, sometimes the very children your child is having a hard time with at recess are actually the children they want to and choose to play with. You can find a link to the entire article here:
Chase me!
Games of "chase" are also very popular on the Adventure Playground in K1. Playing games of chase help support learning in many ways. These games help to develop social competence, movement skills and concepts (e.g. running, dodging, spatial awareness), and learning about the nature of games.
Chase games can also be challenging for young children as they must negotiate who the chaser will be and who will be chased, what happens when one gets "caught", and how to exit the game when they have had enough.
Please know that we are watching the children carefully as they play. Many who complain about being chased have actually been laughing in delight in playing the game...until it gets to be too much. The children send mixed messages to their peers. They want to be chased one minute, and then no longer want to be chased the next. This week, I had one child choose to stand next to me as she said she did not want to be chased. After about a 2 minute rest, she turned to me and said, "Okay, I want them to chase me again." I then stepped in to support her in letting the others know she was ready to play again.
Here are some guidelines on how we, as adults, can support children in managing "chase games" on the playground:
1. Help children develop a framework for playing games of chase. How will they decide who is "it"? What signals can they agree upon as a group to show that they need a break (often this can be a "home base" or "safety" place -- right now, this is often beside the teacher)?
2. Discuss explicitly how we send social signals to others. If you don't run away, you can't be chased and it is clear that you do not want to play. It is important for children to understand that when they run away and laugh, the other children think they are having fun and want to play. They can also say, "I do not want to play. I do not want you to chase me."
3. Take time to reflect on how the game is going. Who are the players? Is everyone feeling included? Is it fun for everyone? If not, why not? How can we make it better?
We encourage you to try playing a game of chase at home to practice all of these skills!
If your child is experiencing friendship challenges at school, please do not hesitate to reach out to your child's classroom teacher. Please rest assured that this is all part of learning and growing up. The good news is this: Your child has caring teachers who are here to help!
Yours in learning,
The K1 Team
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